Not Drawn In By The Quiet Place

This is critique of the movie ‘The Quiet Place.’ Do not read on if you haven’t seen it as there are some spoilers contained within this post.

Just saw the movie ‘The Quiet Place.’ Since its release, I have been intrigued by it. I also heard great things from people who have seen it. IMDb gives it 4 stars out of 5. Rotten Tomatoes gives it 5 stars out of 5. I give it 2 stars out of five and here is why.

First of all I heard the quietness of the movie is disturbing. Now I am one who has no problem in a space filled with quiet. Matter of fact, I love it when a space I am in, whether at work or at home, is totally quiet. Unlike most, I am extremely comfortable being by myself in quiet. So you get the point…

What bothered me, was despite the critique I was given, there is limited parts of the movie that are actually quiet. Instead the silence is filled with music, nauseating music, music that really does nothing, at least in my opinion, to add any element to the theme of the movie. At one point, I turned to my son and said, “The movie would be more effective, if there wasn’t any music.” After all, it is titled the quiet place.

Second, there were parts of the movie that didn’t make sense. One in particular was when the wife was giving birth, in the bath tub, and profusely bleeding. Even my son asked, ‘Why is she bleeding? Is she miscarrying?’ My answer was yes. But I was totally confused after she had a ‘healthy’ child. My son then commented, ‘Could it have been the placenta?’ I told him I didn’t think so as usually the placenta follows the birth. Not sure if this bloody scene was to make the movie, at that point, more scary or not. I am still confused.

Third, I found occurrences to be pretty predictable. Yes, I did jump once or twice but not in the times that were supposed to make me jump. For instance, in the beginning of the movie, the family is pilfering through an abandoned store looking for items to help them keep surviving. The youngest child finds an airplane, that not only lights up but makes noise. Before leaving, the dad, the ultimate ‘hero’ of the movie, takes out the batteries, places it on the counter and lets the boy know he can’t have it as it is too noisy. As the family leaves, the oldest daughter, who is deaf and a rebel, gives the plane back to her brother. As a result, he swoops up the batteries and follows along. So what do you think is going to happen? The boy ultimately gets it from the alien beings. A train wreck waiting to happen.

Another scene, in the last part of the movie,  is when the dad attempts to put down an alien being by shooting it to save his children. Instead the being attacks, leaving the dad with a gaping hole in his midsection. As a result, the being goes after the kids. The dad ends up saving the day by sacrificing himself, screaming as loud as he can so the being is deterred. Result? The dad gets it. And in front of his kids. That will cause nightmares!!! At least for the kids!

And, another occurrence is when the viewer realizes the mom is pregnant. My son’s comment was, ‘Geez mom, don’t they know better than to have a baby when you are supposed to be quiet?’ I  guess the store they were pilfering didn’t have birth control.

Fourth, this movie reminded me ALOT of The Walking Dead.  Same concept, same level of surviving, but with alien beings instead of zombies. The concept of living in an environment of total quiet was creative. However, I found a good portion of the movie wasn’t that creative but a borrowing of other zombie films.

Fifth, I found the acting to be mediocre. It just didn’t catch my interest or pull me in. After about 5 minutes, I was bored. If my son hadn’t been watching,  I would have shut it off. As I commented to him, ‘I’m glad I didn’t pay $10 at the movie theatre to watch this.’ I think the trailer was better than the movie.

Yes, there were some things I liked, rare as they are. I liked getting a perspective from the deaf daughter. The movie would go totally silent when a scene involved seeing it from her eyes. That added a level of thrill which, only momentarily, kept my interest. I found the scene, when the mom is in labor then steps on a nail, pretty intense. The actress really gave a good impression of how to act in a quiet world during intense pain.  And I found the end, where the deaf daughter discovers the key to alienating the beings. As my son said, ‘Mom, she is a badass.’ Yep, she was.

Overall I would give the movie 2 stars out of 5. It was entertaining, in some parts. But not memorable. I also wouldn’t label it a horror thriller. It was more like a roller coaster off the rails.

 

 

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Decisions

For the last 6 months I have not been happy at work. Actually, it’s not my job or the environment, it’s a particular person who I have to deal with every day. Someone whose role is above mine.

The person not only micromanages to the ninth degree, but exhibits strong opinions about others, constantly changes decisions regarding tasks and makes me and others in the department feel like we are stupid.

This behavior is not something new. I have witnessed glimpses of it in the last two years. Because it didn’t affect my work day I had a better grip of accepting it and moving on. But last November I finally hit a wall. A wall I haven’t been able to move through. Since then my passion for my job has disappeared, I don’t feel motivated, I don’t care anymore and I’ve mentally checked out. I’ve also been actively applying and have had a few interviews. Nothing has panned out but I haven’t given up because I know something is out there, I just haven’t found it yet.

After seeking advice I recently approached this person to make them aware of an incident which made me feel really uncomfortable. In turn, the response received was loaded with excuses, then came one ounce of responsibility. It’s gotten so bad I find myself thinking about it so much I can’t sleep.

Just this past week I went to HR to see if they could offer any advice. I even admitted I was looking for another job due to this person’s behavior. The advice I received was to approach this person again and talk about the behavior that was making me uncomfortable. During this conversation, with HR, I felt myself shaking from inside and feeling quite uncomfortable, even as I was half heartedly agreeing with the advice I was receiving. Yet despite the so called steps suggested to me, I still had the deep rooted feelings to leave.

It was this morning, looking for a quote to post at LinkedIn that my feelings were validated and I knew I needed to keep on following through with them. This is what I posted…

Not only is it one of the most important decisions a person can make, it is also one of the hardest.

Fortunately, in the situation I am currently in, I know the decision to try harder is one that will only cause more stress. And now that it has seeped into my personal life, I know the only way to alleviate it is to walk away. My heart and spirit are in sink and totally agree.

As a result I don’t plan on approaching this person to make a statement of how their behavior is affecting me. At this point, I don’t believe it is worth it, even if the person makes a 360 degree change. Going to another department is not an option either.

As a result, I will continue to follow advice I received from someone who is very wise. My son who said, “Mom, you need to start applying to 5 jobs a day, even ones you don’t think you are qualified for.”

So I will keep on in my search. I know no job is perfect but I have also learned I can’t change a person’s personality. I can only change my circumstances. And in every situation I have a choice. I can stay. I can bitch. I can tolerate. However once a situation infiltrates my peace of mind, that is a sign it’s time to move on. For peace is something I am not willing to give up or compromise.

Today my decision is validated. And I will continue to move forward and believe there is something bigger and better right around the corner. I just have to be patient. After all it’s not the first time I’ve had to walk away. And in the end, things have always worked out.

Blessings,

Annie

Being Bold

Being Bold means having doubts but going for it anyway; being scared as hell but sprinting out of the zone of comfort and into the wonder of the unknown; giving up control and accepting whatever the universe hands you; having deep hearted faith things will work out, not according to your plan, but according to what will be right for your life; when the door opens, running through it, without looking back; no matter what it is just going for it, with a ‘what do i have to lose’ attitude; keep’in on keep’in on, despite the odds you have wagered in your head; making friends with the struggle, cause without a little slipp’in and slid’in you will never require strength to rock your life; and being bold means being unequivocally you, in all ways, with no shame, no apologies, no excuses and no regret. It’s your time. It’s your life. It’s your whatever you want it to be. So be bold. The road is right in front of you, and the journey is calling. The question is, are you bold enough to walk the path?

Beautiful Struggle

I’m finally reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k by Mark Manson. My 90 year old mother bought it for my birthday a few months back. And even though she doesn’t own a Harley, she is still cool and hip.

Anyway, Mark quotes Freud who once said

“One day in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”

My year of struggle was 2012. It began with a mastectomy due to a diagnosis of Stage 1 breast cancer the previous November. Then in May I separated from my ex, celebrated with my youngest son as he graduated from high school, saying good bye a couple of weeks later as he shipped off to boot camp. In June I filed for divorce and put my home, which I lived in for 26 years and where my boys had grown up in, up for sale. In August my parents and I visited my son and then whisked him home. A week later I drove him to college, four and half hours away, got him settled and cried most of the way home. In the midst of all this, I was looking for places to live, showing the house and helping my parents. In the beginning of 2013, my divorce was finalized, my house sold and I found an apartment. Needless to say I was in a place I never imagined I would be and scared as hell.

But in that year of sadness, angst and even rare moments of joy and hope, I discovered the real me who, for years had hidden behind a facade I put on so no one would see the hurt and pain I was experiencing.

Despite the death of my marriage and my boys moving on with their lives and having to reboot my life, I don’t regret the struggle.

For it is due to the struggle I inherited gumption, grit and a never give up sassy attitude. Most importantly I learned to beautifully navigate through the journey laid out before me.

Don’t get me wrong. There were and still are days when I get down, don’t want to try, want to scream my lungs out and throw in the towel. After all I’m human.

But, due to the struggles in 2012 and ones I face today, I know I will eventually power through. No doubt about it, struggling is hard. However in the end, it is well worth the beautiful transformation.

Blessings

Annie

Life Answers From An Interview

Since last November I have been actively hunting and applying for another job. There are personal and professional reasons why I will eventually leave my current job.

Today I had another interview. The question posed to me was

How do you see yourself as a team player? Like if you were on a sports team, what role would you be?

I thought for a minute and replied

I would be the encourager helping people to go the distance.

So you would be the coach? Said the interviewer.

And like that I realized I am a coach…a life coach.

As I connect and inspire I am also coaching. I just never thought of myself that way. After today I will.

Because I love to encourage others, then step aside and watch them soar to heights they never imagined they could go.

Yes, I’m a coach. A people coach. And that is one job I love!!

Blessings

Annie

2 Years Gone

As mentioned in my previous post, today is the day my dad died. Amazingly his spirit is still evident.

Saturday my mom and I visited the cemetery. The day was cloudy with spots of spitty rain. As a kid, my family camped alot and in all kinds of weather. My dad’s favorite saying, as storm clouds would roll in, was It will blow over. And that’s exactly what happened Saturday.

When we got to my dad’s grave, I stopped and looked around. My mom said, “What are you doing?” I replied, “Every time I come here, something good happens.” Guess my dad was listening because soon after that the sun appeared. And it’s rays fell on my dad’s headstone, illuminating it with light. My mom and I just stood there shaking our heads in disbelief. Then I said, “See what I mean? That’s a sign dad knows we are here.” Within seconds, the sun vanished behind the clouds.

I looked at my mom and she looked at me. Yep, my dad’s magic is still working. Not only did the clouds blow over but they also gave my mom and I a glimpse of heaven, validating my dad is doing just fine.

Blessings

Annie

Missing Mine

It’s Father’s Day and for a week leading up to this day, there have been commercials and articles all about ways to celebrate dads. And I want to scream because

I don’t have a dad.

Two years ago, tomorrow, my dad died.

At times it seems like yesterday I was living two lives. One was being there, by my mom’s side, watching as death invaded my dad’s body. It was so heart breaking. And still is at times. The only consolation is knowing we followed my dad’s wishes in choosing comfort only, as best we could. I only wish we could have honored his request to die at home. But he was so ill, we were afraid he would die during the transport process.

I miss not being able to hear my dad’s voice on the other end of the phone line. I miss not being able to turn to him for advice. I miss his laughter. I miss his hugs, his jokes, and watching shoot em up movies with him. I just miss him.

Death sucks, immensely. And it’s because we, the living, have to go on. Not just with our own lives, but without the one we love.

Over time the heart break slowly heals. But I find there is an everlasting hole that remains. A reminder to not forget the one who walked the Earth, leaving a legacy of beautiful memories.

I don’t have a dad in this physical world anymore. Yes I still talk with him. Yes I still think of him on a daily basis. And yes I still have memories, of not only the days preceding his death but also ones where he was well.

I would give anything to see him again. And thankfully, I have, in my dreams. But dreaming about someone and seeing them alive are two different things.

So today, on this Father’s Day, if you have a dad, cherish every moment with him you can. If you are a dad, put your family above your job. And make sure you let them know how much you love them by doing things which will result in wonderful memories to cherish and remember you by after you are gone.

I don’t have a dad. And I miss him so much.

But as I told him, years before he died, the one thing death can never take away is love. And because of his love I am consoled.

Blessings

Annie