Last week, I dreamed my son came home. Read about it here. Since that time, my son has been on my mind ALOT!!!! I even spoke of him yesterday when I went to a lunch with a friend. I have really been lifting his name up in prayer as well. It is not easy to push children out. Nor is it easy to watch the consequences when they make bad choices.
Today, after a meeting, I went to my desk, in the lobby. There stood my son. I could not BELIEVE IT!!! I wanted to run as fast as I could to hug him, smack him and scream at him. The only thing I did was walk over and hug him. He told me had a job and was living with a friend to ‘help’ him out. Maybe they were helping each other out. He returned my apartment key and we proceeded to chat some more.
We exchanged phone numbers and before he left, we embraced once more time. It was so emotional, I wanted to just sit down and cry, for the lost time; for his being safe and well; for his initiative in being the first to break the silence; for God hearing my prayers and letting me know in my dream; and for love, that has never declined.
Is this the start of healing? I hope so. Before leaving, I told my son he had some mail at the apartment. He told me he didn’t work Sunday or Monday. I extended the invitation to come over, get his mail and I would treat him to dinner on Sunday. He didn’t readily accept so I said, just call if you want to come by.
Some things haven’t changed, but some things have. Not sure how long they will last nor is it my place to wonder why as it is his life and he has to live with the choices he has made and will make in the future. Yet, he is still my child, 27 years and all. I have found it is sometimes best to leave the past in the past, accept whatever is going to happen today and have an open heart towards whatever is going to happen in the future. After all, when all is said and done, once a prayer is lifted, it is in God’s hands to grant, temporarily deny or make a miracle. We just have to let go and let Him guide the way.