Venting Time

So yesterday was my bosses last day. Interestingly enough, when she met with all of four of us in her department, to relate the news, everyone else either had an inkling or had been told of her frustration with the company, except for me. I learned a lot through that half hour of which I realized even though I am supposed to be part of her ‘department,’ I have not been in on the loop. Not only about her departure but about some other stuff going on at work as well. Could be my fault as I am not a busybody person asking about personal things unless I really know the person. And when others gossip or complain, I do hear them out, but don’t contribute anything to the conversation. But here is what bugs me the most.

Yesterday our department, my boss, the four of us plus three others were invited to a farewell lunch. The invitation was sent out the day before. However, I knew the week before, the person who fills in for me at lunch was leaving early so I would not have any coverage. As a result, I made a choice not to seek a replacement but just to have lunch at my desk. The announcement of my bosses’ departure was also known the week before. But then the invitation…

I generally liked my boss. She was great in relating things she needed done, had a wonderful sense of humor and displayed an integrity that I have never witnessed, in all my years of working, in other bosses I have had. But she was not always aware of including everyone. Could be she wasn’t excluding intentionally…who knows. There were a few times others in the department were ‘let in’ about stuff and I found out through the grapevine.

Anyway…back to Friday. So…I accepted the invite for lunch deciding to put up the sign informing visitors to use the phone to call anyone they were there to see. As I was wrapping up the project I was working on, seven lunchers, including my boss, came through the lobby to make their way out. I noticed one of the people still standing at the door to the office. It was then everyone else turned around to find out why this person was not moving forward. Long story short…a sales person was expecting a visitor and instead of setting up the room with refreshments ahead of time, this person decided to wait just before lunch to do it. So my boss turns to me and replies, ‘You have a key to the refreshment room, don’t you?’ I replied, ‘Yes.’ She turned to the person at the door and said, ‘Ann can take care of it’ turned around and began to make her way to the door. In the meantime, another person offered to fill in for me so I could not only get the needed refreshments but also go to the lunch afterwards.

As I sat there a whole bunch of revelations hit me like a ton of bricks all at once.

What the f**K?!?!  Why was this not handled earlier? So I am picking up the slack while everyone else leaves?
Why didn’t someone tell me about this when they knew?

As a result, I stayed behind, got the refreshments and made the choice NOT to attend the luncheon. Maybe I was petty. But I felt extremely taken advantage of. No one mentioned anything about waiting till I finished the task I was requested to do. Granted, the person who initially was going to get the refreshments had worked with my boss a year longer than me. Despite that, I felt as if they were all going to go as a group and I was expected to just come when I could. All the feelings I had as a kid, being rejected, being teased, not being accepted flooded back so bad I was not able to move. Let me just say, this was not the first time I had been ‘excluded’ from a department lunch which is why I felt like I did.  Regardless, the salesperson ended up coming out to help me and I had a wonderful conversation with him about what he was doing this weekend. I did get over not going but continued to feel guilty for my choice. It was when my boss returned I knew I made the right decision.

When she came in she walked up to my desk and said, ‘Wa, wa, wa, Ann didn’t go.’ I made up an excuse for not going but knew at that moment how much I enjoyed working with her but also it was probably good she was moving on. It was also in that moment, my guilt of not going, flew out the door.

It will be interesting to see how the department moves forward in the coming days. Everyone else has been assigned additional work to pick up the slack, while I have been assigned one additional thing. But since I was not ‘invited’ to the meetings everyone else was, I will have to inquire about what my task involves from someone else in the department. Sad, at my bosses departure, I was left with a not so good taste in my mouth towards her. Yet, the company is growing so I know there is plenty of opportunity ahead whether it is in the department I am currently in or some where else within the company. Life does go on and I am looking forward to see what the future holds. It will be definitely be interesting, to say the least. Anyway…just needed to vent so I could fully let it go and enjoy my day off and my weekend ahead.

Hope you have a blessed 4th.
And thanks for listening…I do appreciate it.
Annie

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