Facing the Worst Thing in Life

Here’s a question…

What is the worst thing you have had to face in your life?

Yesterday, I wrote about my potty training problems as an adult. Yet, that was not the worst experience I have ever had in my life. Most humiliating, most embarrassing, most shameful…for sure, just not the worst.

You see, I am one of those optimistic, happy go lucky, drive you nuts, seeing the sunny side of everything 99% of the time kind of people. For instance, tonight, due to construction, traffic, a long line at Mickey D’s, and wanting to get home, I was getting rather frustrated. As I pulled away with my dinner, I looked at my clock. My spirit reminded me, ‘Well, at least you will get home before 6.’ Okay, frustration began to drain away. Then I crossed over the expressway, which looked like a parking lot. My spirit retorted, ‘Be glad you are not sitting in that.’ Frustration gone. See what I mean? I am one of those kind of people. Because of this outlook, it takes a lot for me to reach a breaking point or give up or believe a situation is hopeless. Yet, life enjoys giving hard knocks, jolting people with detours and kicking people when they are down.

Which brings me back to…

What is the worst thing you have had to face in your life?

The worst thing in my life? Despite the downs, the black holes and the Russian roulette games life has handed me, I have never experienced anything I would consider devastating. However, there is one thing that used to be the worst thing in my life and which occasionally shows up every now and then. That worst thing? Myself. That is right, me.

In almost every situation, my intuition poked, prodded, and incessantly nagged me as to what direction to take. Yet, me, myself and I, more often than not, made excuses, told lies, discouraged leaving the comfort zone, causing me to became imprisoned, in my own life. Knowing the situation was only going to get worse, I continued to stay, refusing to buck up the courage and wherewithal to follow my instincts, resulting in me staying longer than I should have, despite how uncomfortable and downtrodden my life was becoming. So what changed? Well..

I began to get in tune with every hunch I felt, whether or not I understood it or could explain the reason behind it. I also posted sticky notes of positive quotes or snippets of songs or affirmations at my desk at work and on my fridge at home. On my computer, I downloaded many inspirational pictures. Every so often, right before going to sleep, I would run these as a slide show, ending my day on not only a high note but a positive one as well. I also began using the words ‘can’ and ‘will’ in place of the word ‘try.’ And I began to plant visions, in my mind’s garden, of the life I wanted to live.

Over time, I realized clinging to the false security of the comfort zone was not going to change anything. I had to break the chains of its grasp and face the path of uncertainty and an unforeseeable future. I had to take a risk. I had to jump in order to experience the spreading of my wings to soar. I had to fight myself, in order to gain myself. I had to run through every door that opened. I had to stop walking a path others had carved out and forge a path of my own.

Let me pause here…just for a moment to say this process was achieved inch by inch, sometimes two steps forward five steps back, with constant reinforcement from my inner coach, cheering me on every step of the way. The first link of the chain was the toughest to unlock only because myself kept hesitating due to fear of what the unknown future held. But, despite quivering hands, many times resulting in dropping the key and having to restart over and over and over, I unclasped that first link, continuing through the chain till all of the links lie in a heap and I was free at last. And as I ran out the cell door, I left the worst thing behind, myself, for I was on my way to building a new self. One who would not hesitate to leave comfort. One who would listen to intuition, without question. One who would shake off doubt and believe anything is possible. And one who would look in the mirror and say…

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who is the bravest one of all?

And my image, in the mirror, would answer…

Of all the ones I know
You are the bravest of them all.

So…maybe the question should be rephrased…

Is the worst thing you have had to face in your life, yourself?

And if your answer is yes, then what are doing about it so you can start living a life you deserve and become the person you were meant to be.

I believe in you.
Show me your Brave.

Blessings,
Annie

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4 thoughts on “Facing the Worst Thing in Life

  1. The worst thing in my life was living with myself in my late teens and early twenties. I made some horrible choices and being raised in a Christian family, the guilt just about killed me, in that I took 3 bottles of sleeping pills and slit my wrists.

    I’ve rebuilt my life and feel very courageous when I look back at where I was and at where I am now.

    I’ve make lots of mistakes since that time long ago, but I’m finally stronger than I’ve ever been and am capable of making the right choices.

    That’s my story.

    (Sorry to dump such a bummer story on you during this wonderful Memorial Day weekend. But it’s actually a fabulous story, don’t you think?)

    1. What a beautiful, glorious revival of YOU!!! But despite your past, your trials, your mistakes, I am so PROUD to be your friend!!!! And I am so PROUD of you for becoming who you are today. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. It is a fabulous story. And you are a FABULOUS person because of it.
      Love, annie

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