The past two nights have been catch up with Walkers, heads flying off, dead people resurrecting and creepy nightmares. So, I decided to catch up on the inspirational shows I have DVRed. I turned to Super Soul Sunday with Shirley MacLaine. Here is the part of the interview that impacted me the most.
Oprah asked, ‘Are you pleased with the role you have played as a Spiritual Trailblazer for our culture?’
Shirley replied, ‘I’m pleased with the fact that I saw a trail and I walked down it and didn’t know what I was going to find.’
When first hearing this, immediately I teared up. Then I grabbed my remote, rewound it and listened again. Just one statement affirmed the way I have lived my life the last couple of years. Despite fear, doubt, and talking myself out of what my intuition knew was right, I reached a point where I chose, YES I CHOSE, the path choked with weeds, full of bramble bushes, clogged with trash, and overcome with darkness. As I walked, I reached down with both hands and pulled, harder than I ever thought I could, the weeds right out by their roots. Regardless of the thorns, I swept aside the brambles, getting scratches so deep, the blood poured forth like a river weeping after a flood. I kicked, stomped and threw every piece of trash as far as I could. And when a path was cleared enough for me to take off, I ran and ran and ran. My heart beat so hard I thought it would fly out from my chest. With each foot fall, my lungs hungrily gasped for air. My legs grew tired, yet I would NOT STOP or QUIT or GIVE UP!!!!!!!! The sweat poured from my skin, mixing with my bloody wounds. My mind started telling my body lies…You are weak. You can’t get through this. You’ll collapse before you get to the end. But me, YES ME willed myself to go on. ME, YES ME, willed courage to seep through every fiber of my being. ME, YES ME, willed myself to fight so I could get to the light I knew I would find at the end. The light of Him waiting, listening, staying still for me.
When I finally exited the trail, I saw Him, standing tall. He looked right into my eyes, as He opened His arms wide. For one second, I stopped, staring back. Then I ran hard, full speed, not caring about anything, just wanting Him. As I came closer, His arms spread wider. Then my legs gave out, making me trip. Right before I hit rock bottom, I felt Him catch me, blanketing me with His love and peacefulness. Weakened by my journey, my choices, my frustrations, and my despair, I began to sob. As He held me, my tears gushed in rivulets blinding my eyes, my heart cracked wide open and my spirit shattered into smithereens. What I thought was whole, finally fractured into pieces, surrendering to the anguish of what was and what would never be again.
Hours upon hours went by before my tears stopped. I closed my eyes, filled with exhaustion and slept. He gently released His hold lowering me to the plush carpet of green grass. When I woke, He was sitting by the hole I had struggled through on the broken path. I arose. My eyes were now dry. My wounds healed shut. My skin no longer water logged. I began to walk towards Him. As I got closer, He said, ‘Stop there. You cannot go with Me. But know this…do not be discouraged my child. For when You chose a trail to walk upon, remember I am always at your side and You never have anything to fear.’ Then He stood and turned, walking onto the path I had chosen to journey on. As He got further and further away, the weeds grew back, the brambles closed the spot where He entered and trash began mounting. In less than a second, the path was blocked, encasing Him inside. At that moment I realized what I had conquered. In finding Him, I had won the battle with myself. As I turned to walk down the path of light I was currently on, a mirror popped up in front of me. In it, I saw first the person I was then slowly she faded into the person I had become. Looking at myself, I knew I had within me all the tools to face any trail, any path and anything I found. And I knew He would be right alongside.
I am pleased to be a trailblazer in my own life. And I am proud to have not given in but carried on.
Hope and Faith for You to Blaze a Trail and Find
the Hero of Yourself…