Here’s To You…Part 1

Here’s to the kid, in middle school, who teased me and called me ‘fat’ when I wore a midriff with shorts. Because of you, I never wore that shirt or shorts again. However, when I lost weight, I bought a cute white skort, a tight fitting top and got some sass. And, now 20 pounds heavier since then, I realize I don’t give a damn what you or anyone else says or thinks about the way I look. Because if you are ‘judging’ me by my appearance, you are WAY off base. SHOCK ALERT!!! Looks aren’t everything, even if you are George Clooney. The most important part of a person is how their heart lives outside their body. And obviously, middle school kid, your heart, like the Grinch’s, was a tad bit too tiny to beat a positive rhythm.

Here’s to the director, at the school I used to teach at, who told me my classroom was too noisy. First of all, a room full of twelve 3-5 year olds is not exactly the place where quiet is going to happen. Second of all, being enthusiastic about the kids gets them motivated!!! Third, school should be a fun place to learn and play. And fourth, maybe instead of walking through my room, you should have taken some time out of your day and spent an hour or more in my classroom to really grasp why my students loved me and my noise, instead of hiding out in your office behind a closed door.

Here’s to the boss, a so called marine, who used shouting, verbal abuse and intimidation tactics, causing my manager to burst in tears, making employees feel 2″ tall, and was the main reason I quit. Even though it is not my nature to seek revenge or harm on anyone, I did smirk when I found out 2 months after I left your torrential way to ruin run an office, you became unemployed due to all the locations closing.

Here’s to the teacher, in first grade, who put a dunce cap on a student’s head, made him sit on a stool in front of everyone and humiliated him with put downs. You were the type of teacher who should have not had tenure. You were the type of teacher, from that day on, even at 8 years of age, I hated. You were the type of teacher that should have been fired. You were the type of teacher who taught me how not to behave as a teacher. You were the type of teacher whose name I still remember…Mrs. Nichols. Shame on you.

Here’s to the kid, who when I was 8 years old, grabbed my brand new glasses off my face, threw them on the ground and stepped on them. When my mom asked your mom for money to pay for them, she threw $20 in my mom’s face and stomped off. I guess you were a chip off the old block.

Here’s to my cousin, the one I got to be good friends with, who decided she wanted to be ‘in’ with the other cousins who thought and acted like they were hot ‘shit.’ She ended up blowing me off, with no explanation and then completely ignoring me at family gatherings. In later years, I discovered just how self centered you were when our grandmother needed a place to stay, due to her electricity going out. You lived right down the street but didn’t offer her a refuge. I lived 20 minutes away, yet made her pack an overnight bag, grab her dog, gave up my bedroom and opened my home. I now know, looking back, if you hadn’t broken off our relationship, eventually I would have.

Here’s to the boss, who told me my conversations were too long with clients; I was too loud; I was too distracting. She not only told me this to my face, she also emailed me as a reminder. Well guess what? Currently I am encouraged to have heart-to-heart chats with clients. My boss told me, on my second day of employment, she didn’t care if I laughed out loud as no one would hear me anyway. Besides, since she knows I believe adults should LOL more often, she makes me laugh!!! As for being distracting? Maybe if I was not a ‘people’ person, comfortable interacting with everyone, my desk would have not been the gathering space for awesome conversation and stories. I never understood why I was targeted when the person, in accounting, frequently had shouting matches, especially at the end of the month when certain sales people would take their time getting in their jobs. Well, I hear no one has been hired to replace me. I have also heard the place is quite quiet now. Guess you got your wish.

Here’s to my ex, who made the following comment when I gave away my size 10-1W clothes, “What if you get fat again?” I do admit, as previously admitted, I have put on 20 pounds.  I also quit exercising, am not eating like I used to and can’t fit into my size 2 pants anymore. However, for the first time, in a LONG time, I am happy as I am, alone, with no drama, no constant put downs, no hiding the true me and still gifted with sass.

Here’s to the girl, name of Erika, in high school, who pulled me aside, after Choir class, making snide remarks about the girl, next to me, who was singing way off key. Your comments irked the hell out of me! For the first time in my life, I stood up for someone else, letting you know how much I supported the one you weren’t willing to give one tiny chance to. From that day forward, I tolerated you, but saw you in a whole different light, of which you weren’t willing to share.

Today, I give tribute  notice to those who could have been a beacon of radiant hope to not only me but others as well. It is so refreshing to finally acknowledge, in black and white, those whom instead of positively paying it forward, made conscious choices to pass along their own pain, probably never realizing or maybe not caring how many wounds they tore in another’s heart. Today, I have been a tattle tail. But, the burdens of the past have been lifted from my shoulders, from the inner recesses of my soul and from my mind.

Here’s to you…middle school bully, school administrator, military man, abusive teacher, angry child, selfish cousin, hush me boss, ex who used to mark the spot, and Erika o’dumb…thank you for your discouragement, your rage, your unsavory ways…the lessons I learned were invaluable towards making me who I am today. And if I ever have the pleasure opportunity to see any of you again, I will show grace, respect and tolerance. However, I will also be curt in making the encounter short. There is an old saying, ‘Forget and forgive.’ I forgive so as to move myself forward. Forget is another story.

Here’s to You…Part 2…come on back tomorrow for a tribute to the peeps who made a positive impact on my life.



One thought on “Here’s To You…Part 1

  1. You’ve had a bunch of hard knocks…more than you should have had, for sure. To have achieved the contentment and happiness that surrounds you now must be greatly cherished.

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